What to Expect from Parent Coaching for Childhood and Teen Anxiety
Anxiety is now the most common mental health condition for children and teenagers. Some quick statistics:
The prevalence of diagnosed anxiety increased by 61% between 2016-2023.
Some statistics show that 30% of youth has an anxiety disorder.
Even pre-pandemic, anxiety was trending upwards in youth over time; but during the pandemic, the numbers doubled.
Contributing factors in anxiety’s rise have been tied to academic pressure, social media influence, family dynamics, and broader societal stressors.
If you feel lost in how to support your anxious child or teen, you’re not alone— and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.
What is Parent Coaching (And How Is It Different from Therapy)?
The first and most important distinction is that parent coaching focuses on empowering the caregivers to gain the tools needed to make changes, primarily through a mixture of education and problem-solving.
Psychotherapy sessions for children and teens hold incredible value and focus on a child-directed approach where I work with parents collaboratively, but ultimately, more adjunctly. Parent coaching focuses on a parent-centered approach, where I am instead working with parents directly, and the education, tools, and skills that we cover are what effect change within their family system.
Parent coaching focuses on strengths and developing a plan around taking action to instill desired change over time. It is oriented to the future, so there’s a specific plan of action. Therapy also focuses on strengths, needs, and preference, and is more oriented to understanding the past, the unconscious, and the work of integrating difficult experiences. Structure is more general and sessions tend to be open-ended.
As a licensed, registered, board-certified art therapist who has worked with children and families for several years, I’m confident in my ability to assess whether a child will benefit from the clinical support of individual psychotherapy sessions or if parent coaching is indicated as a viable support.
Parent coaching sessions are held virtually or in-person in Montclair, NJ.
Why Focus on Parents in Supporting Anxious Children and Teens?
Coaching helps parents understand anxiety and therefore reduce the reinforcement of anxious patterns.
There are certain presenting problems (more on this below) in children and teens that can be effectively addressed by parents learning and implementing certain skills.
Anxiety is often reinforced unknowingly by parents and well-meaning adults, simply because anxiety has a powerful and sneaky way of creating more anxiety. When parents can identify the negative feedback loop that emerges in all anxiety cycles, they can begin to make lasting changes in many different situations.
I’ve witnessed, time and time again, that small shifts lead to huge changes in a child’s behavior/self-esteem and the overall quality of family life.
What Happens in a Parent Coaching Session?
Similar to a therapy session, we will have an intake session when we first meet. An intake is typically 50-60 minutes. The intake session is designed to provide a foundational understanding background and history, needs, current life circumstances, and proposed goals. We’ll also go over confidentiality, consent, and practice-specific policies such as communication or billing, scheduling, etc. We will also discuss expectations, measuring progress, and our next steps.
My first few sessions are focused on development and understanding your child from a cognitive, psychological, and social perspective. I set this foundation because it is the basis of understanding future suggestions and interventions that I’ll share. My goal is for parents to walk away from this part of our work with a firm understanding of the brain and anxiety.
Sessions from then on will typically be devoted to what parents feel is most important to address. We’ll discuss tools and strategies to utilize (co-regulation, play, limit-setting, etc.). We may go into why these are effective and how they work on a brain-based level, role play through a scenario to support practice and preparation, come up with creative solutions to everyday struggles that may present with anxiety (transitions, power struggles, sleep, etc.), and helpful resources (books, mindfulness practices, etc.) that you can integrate into your routine. There may be times I encourage us to return to a certain topic we’ve discussed or focus more on one thing over another. I can always share more about why I feel a subject needs more time and discussion over another.
This is a general overview - parent coaching is tailored to each family and is highly collaborative.
We’ll work through any emotions that arise. It’s not uncommon to feel frustrated, awkward, or even doubtful that something will work.
Common Goals Parents Bring to Coaching
Reduction of school avoidance
Strengthening a child’s independence and ability to separate from parent(s) successfully
Navigating bedtime struggles
Working with social anxiety in the form of reluctance, shyness, or avoidance
Noticing perfectionist tendencies or high sensitivity in a child
Responding calmly to meltdowns or panic, reducing conflict or lashing out
Working with generalized anxiety, or when many things seem to produce worry
Following through on limits and boundaries
Setting clear expectations and consequences
Understanding what is “normal” and what is not
Navigating screen time
Planning for change: moving, traveling, family expansion, pets, new school, parent returning to work, etc.
Navigating sibling dynamics
Getting over fears and worries
Addressing difficult patterns that have become locked in and are creating daily conflict
Explaining complex and sensitive concepts (death, family estrangement, mental health, sick family member, drills at school, natural disasters, racism, etc.)
Promoting a stronger and happier parent-child relationship
Moving from one parenting style to another (i.e. from authoritarian/permissive to authoritative)
How to be a gentle, loving parent while also discouraging unwanted behaviors
Feeling more confident and less reactive as a parent
How Parent Coaching Can Help the Whole Family
When parents build skills to support the unique challenges their child is experiencing, there is often a reduction in emotional escalation and power struggles.
Changing one person’s approach or response in a family will impact everyone else. There is a ripple effect that happens in a family when one or both parents change their approach.
Understanding and connection between parent and child increases.
Emotional regulation improves for both parent and child.
An increased sense of peace and confidence in the home environment.
Is Parent Coaching Right for You?
Coaching is ideal for parents who are motivated, open to learn, and have a desire to be more effective in their approach with an anxious child or teen.
Parent coaching isn’t a substitute for individual art therapy or other forms of therapy if a child needs clinical treatment; however, parent coaching can enhance outcomes of a child’s therapy.
Parent coaching may be indicated a therapist senses that a family may benefit from altering behaviors and dynamics at home before starting clinical therapy sessions.
Many times, parents who receive education to understand their child’s anxiety and learn skills to address it also benefit from feeling that they better understand their own anxiety and are able to cope more effectively overall.
Parents may intuitively sense responsibility on their end and a desire to do things differently, not allow certain behaviors or dynamics to continue, or to learn fresh tools and skills.
I typically work with parents who have children age 4-18.
Parent coaching is an empowering way to support anxious children and teenagers by equipping their most important resource - you. If you’re interested in learning more about parent coaching, feel free to reach out for a consultation below. I look forward to hearing from you!
